Portraits of Resilience: Ami

Our Portraits of Resilience bring together powerful portraits and personal stories from women who’ve walked through our doors at Bramber Bakehouse. As you explore these stories, we invite you to stand with us as we step into the next decade of hope and healing.

In my photograph, I wanted to show myself as powerful and unique, that I have the power to change my mindset, to turn my negative energy to positive and never give up.

Now in my country Afghanistan, women don’t have access to work or education. They don’t have freedom to go out without a man and must cover their faces. I used to teach English and work for a refugee service. My students asked how they could become a teacher like me. I am always thinking about them. Thousands of dreams have died. They took these dreams from my sisters, my students, every woman there. I tell them never to give up. Hopefully one day they can fulfil their dreams and be free.

I want to be a role model for my former students, my family, my sisters and nephews, for all the women in Afghanistan, because they don’t have the opportunity to grow or make decisions. I want to show that women can bring changes in society.

I came to the UK from India where I had completed an MBA in Marketing and HR and just finished the first year of my PHD. My family is still in Afghanistan. It is very hard to be away from them, but it is not possible to return home.

I received my refugee status at the end of last year. I am living in Sussex and studying for my GCSE in English after passing Maths this summer. I love Sussex because the people are so supportive. I am involved with groups like The Hummingbird Project, Jollof Cafe, Friends Meeting House and Bramber Bakehouse.

When I was seeking asylum, I lived in a hotel for nine months without access to a kitchen or good quality food. I developed a stomach infection and other health issues which I am still receiving treatment for. I’m trying to cook healthy food now. I like making Afghan food like Kabuli Pulao and Bolani.

I was referred to Bramber Bakehouse through the Hummingbird Project who noticed I was happy when I was cooking and eating with the group. At first, I thought it was only about learning to cook, but it was much more. We baked, laughed and had a good time together. I really loved making a big fruit cake and sharing it with my friends at the hotel.

I enjoyed the focus on wellbeing, managing stress, understanding feelings and improving our emotional health. The meditation and breathing exercises still help me because I have asthma and chest pains, possibly from stress.

I developed new friendships. We talked together and shared our challenges or happy moments together. They were all strong women and we built a powerful group together.

Bramber gave me purpose, they liked and accepted me as a human being. They gave me the opportunity to talk and listened to me without judgment. I felt free there. It helped me become a more positive person as well as to plan and have goals in my life. When the classes finished, I missed them but was proud of myself. We still share news in our WhatsApp group chat. After the course, Bramber Bakehouse provided a befriender who really helped and I hope to join the mentoring programme.

I have the recipes from the course which I want to make when I have a good kitchen. Now I am sharing a house and it is not a good situation. My flatmates are often fighting, shouting and swearing. Sometimes they are drunk and smoking drugs. I don’t have peace of mind here.

I do lots of activities now. A friend gave me a bicycle and I enjoy cycling. I’m also learning to swim. I like going out with my friends to the beach. If I can’t go out because of my health issues, I write and journal, which helps me process my emotions. I’m also applying for jobs: ideally in marketing because this is what I studied.

My plan is to have a peaceful home without stress and my long-term wish is to be with my family. When I eat alone, sometimes I cry, thinking: “what is the point if we are not with our loved ones?” As refugees, we cannot go back.

I have lots of hope and dreams for my future. I want my health to improve because it is the most valuable thing. I wish to get my dream job as a Chief Marketing Officer. I’d like to be the one at the top making the decisions.

While I don’t have my family here, I can count on communities like Bramber Bakehouse. Through this support, I am becoming stronger. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the women that Bramber supports – refugees like me. They lifted me up, they gave me hope and purpose. We need somebody to remind us that we are human and deserve a better life. 

Thank you to Sarah Weal (photographer), Katherine Maxwell-Jones from iMix (storyteller) and Julia Smith (floristry artist) for your careful care and support enabling us to share these stories with the world.